Updated: Jan 18
Your lack of boundaries is a boundary.
Your refusal to set boundaries is a boundary.
Your refusal to hold boundaries is a boundary.
It's a boundary that says "I will not show up for what I imagine setting this boundary would mean."
It's a boundary that says "I will not suffer through what it would mean to stand my ground right now."
It is your right to choose that for yourself. This boundary is just as valid and important as any other boundary.
It is wisdom you have learned through your life experience and it has protected and guarded you impeccably well.
It can bring peace just to see this boundary and understand it for what it really is. You may find with peace in knowing that your boundaries are your choice, you don't even need to change how you do or do not set and hold boundaries.
The only reason to change your boundaries is if YOU want your life to be a different way. There's no right or wrong way, there's only you choosing the way it will be.
There are no solutions, only tradeoffs. Setting boundaries is a different skill. Holding boundaries requires new technique. It can be challenging to learn. You don't have to do it until you want to. It's ok to say that your way is working for you, for now.