You Do Not Need Better Boundaries

You do not need "better boundaries."

The most important part about The Boundary Course is that there's no pressure to implement boundaries. I've rested this whole adventure on the understanding that you DO have boundaries—right now.

The way I see it, you're choosing the experience you have of your life, and that is a complete act of boundaries.


Perhaps you've been harassed by others who (with loving intentions) think that you should have "better boundaries." Naturally, you'd be hesitant to sign up for something called The Boundary Course, fearing that it will confront you in the same way, pressure you to do something uncomfortable and potentially damaging to the fabric of your life. Implementing boundaries poses a risk to relationships.


I get that you'd want to resist it, even as you're squirming with the knowing that you want a different experience of certain relationships.


Here's the thing—any person who pressures you to have boundaries disrespects your boundaries and would be better off tending to their own. Their attention is on something other than their own business. And maybe they're exasperated with your choices because they're agreeing to listen to someone they love suffering, when they can't really handle that experience.


Whatever THEIR deal is, you won't find it in The Boundary Course.


The simple truth is that you don't have to have "better" boundaries, and what "better" means could only be determined by you. I wouldn't presume to define that for you.


Your boundaries are the experience you choose for yourself, and you can only make the right choice. If you want to make a different choice, you'll find the way to do so. Maybe this course will help.


Let's say that the LAST thing you want to do is have an uncomfortable conversation.


Not having that uncomfortable conversation is your boundary. You do not cross it, and you do not allow anyone else to cross it.


If that conversation truly needs to happen, you will be prepared to have it, you will feel desire to have it, and it will happen at the right time. There's no need to force it.


Far from being enabling, this permission is often what gets my clients to start feeling their actual *desire* to have the conversation they think they don't want to have.


Obligation kills desire. You do not *have to* do ANYTHING. That is the very foundation your boundaries are built on.


These boundaries are all about having a life based in desire, a life based in "YES, PLEASE!"


Implementing boundaries means implementing standards for how setting and holding boundaries gets to feel. Your boundaries are your standards for your life.


This course is here to help you understand boundaries, not pressure you into having them. This course will help you identify your existing boundaries and see all the opportunities you have for setting boundaries with love and ease.

What you do with that information is for you to decide, and I believe that you will make good choices for yourself.

I believe you always have.

12 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Living open requires exquisite boundaries. First, what are boundaries? Boundaries are many things, but for the sake of this piece, we are going to speak about boundaries as points of connection. That

When I was a child, my mom taught me about the "uh oh" feeling. There's a little voice in you, and when it says "uh oh..." you listen. You get out of there, you get safe. When you have an "uh oh" feel

Boundaries are about where your attention goes. In our culture there’s an idea that boundaries require defense of those boundaries. There was a time when boundaries for me meant I would construct a hu