The Power to Hold it Down.
There’s plenty of info out there about women surrendering to their partner, to their partnership, to their man, their king, their leader.
But there’s very little info about the way partnership commands surrender from a man.
We’d prefer to speak of his sacrifice, because it’s more manly. However…
Daily a great man surrenders to his partner, he feels the depth of his belonging to her soft receptivity, the light and delight she brings into his life. He is powerless before her radiance, putty in her hands—the whole point of his strength is to use it in service to this.
He will gladly lay down his life to serve this radiance remaining as a blessing to the world.
But when we disrespect the surrender of a man, when we brutalize him as a test of his strength, when we see ourselves as vulnerable victims, when we task him with the impossible task of our happiness and nourishment, we damage his ability to LIVE his life to serve our radiance.
Every woman I know wants this from her man: that he will LIVE and practice his love for her every day through his actions and presence.
And many women I know create conditions where it’s impossible for him to do so.
We’re using our radiance as a bargaining chip with him, playing hide and seek with him so that we can blame the dimming of our light on him. Really, we are uncomfortable with shining.
We’re not practiced with receiving all he provides, so we default to the familiar criticisms and look for how he’s failing. Really, we are uncomfortable with receiving.
We’re angry with him, with men in general, for having power over us, and in that posture it’s impossible to stand in our own power. It would be absolute insanity to stand in my power AND say that someone else has it. Really, we are uncomfortable with an equal playing field.
The King needs a Queen because she can hold it down. He never asks her to, but she can do it. In this way she feels the extent of his provision for her, imagining all she would need to be doing if he weren't providing.
The Queen is committed to her own radiance, not depending on her man to evoke it in her. She owns the power of her radiance and understands that it comes through her ability to relax and surrender. The more she shows this to him, the more he's hooked, in service to her relaxation and surrender.
The Queen is rooted in her own power, reverent and respectful of the surrendered aspect of her King. She honors the King because she knows the extent of her power. She never needs to test it, and the mere idea of doing so is appalling--why would she hurt someone so deeply invested in her peace?
The King and Queen are equally powerful and equally surrendered. It's a delicate dance, but don't let anyone tell you it's not possible for you.
And don't you dare, for one minute, think surrender is powerless.