top of page

The Power of Following

You can say that you want a man (whether it's your current partner or the currently imaginary man of your dreams) to step up, but you might hate it when you get what you ask for.

If you think of following, especially of following a man, as a disempowered state, you'll fight against it.

If some part of you churns with angst at the thought of following, if some part of you believes that following is obedience, you'll punish any man who tries to "step up" and lead you, even though that's what you say you want.

If following is an experience of disempowerment for you, you'll focus on criticizing him and his leadership (usually as absent, weak, or flawed) to avoid the experience of disempowerment and retain a feeling of power. If he's a bad leader, you never have to experience the humiliation of following.

This is how we've been taught to think of following. It's bred compromises all around in the dating game.

Telling us that following is rote obedience, that it's a state of subjugation or powerlessness is the way that oppressors have stolen the elusive power of following from us. Tyrants want us to believe that power is in the hands of the leaders, that we are subject to another's power when we are following.

The truth is that following is a power all its own. It's mysterious and subversive and its scope is unlimited.

When you understand the magic, the influence, the effortless force field created by graceful, intentional, artful following, you'll notice men around you stepping up for you in every moment.

You will descend into a low throne, where you will receive the deepest bows from your admirers.

4 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Single women who really want a partner love telling you all they will NOT tolerate from a man. ✨ Not realizing... that's why they're single. ✨ Not because they need to be more tolerant. ✨ Because they

This relationship has been two years of nonstop travel. It's incredible, luxurious, an absolute privilege, and at times overwhelming. I have learned so much about myself and what luxury means to me, b

I've gotten this question enough now that I want to make a post about it. The question is one of my sources, what girds my understanding of relationships and the way things are. Here is a limited list