Do What You Want

I say, "I think you should do only exactly what you want to do. Nothing more, nothing less."


They ask, "But what if I hurt someone?"


I wonder, "Is hurting someone something you want to do?"


Do what you want to do. Commit to doing it, make that your only course of action so that you are required to creatively engineer a way to do it that doesn't hurt other people.


Because doing what you want means doing ALL of what you want. Holistic self-interest. It's not hedonism, not pure pleasure. It includes your desire to respect and love and not hurt others. It includes your desire to show up for hard emotions in yourself and in others. It includes your desire to be healthy and eat your veggies.


Doing what you want doesn't hurt other people.


Denying yourself the ability to do what you want, on the other hand, causes you to enter agreements that don't deeply work for you. Agreements you're very likely to break, and then you'll find yourself doing another thing you don't really want to do--hurting others.


When you own that you're going to do what you want, that informs the agreements you make with others. You let them choose whether the relationship where you get everything you want and get to do everything you want is one that works for them.


Those relationships, once entered, do not involve compromise. They're not about meeting each other's needs, they're about having the space, time, and freedom to fully nourish yourselves. In these relationships all parties are on board with how the nourishment happens and in love with their partner's full nourishment.


Do what you want, own that course, and watch your empire flourish.


P.S. Fair warning, the longer you've gone without doing and owning what you want, the messier this will be to unwind.

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