Life After Death
My personal journey is anchored in death. My father's death, when I was five years old. My mother took a striking photo of me, smiling wide, perched on my father's grave.
That joy was real.
My father was loving, silly, obsessed with me. Everyone says so. He took me everywhere he went. When he died, there was a hole in so many lives. I felt ALL the feelings about his death. Sadness, rage, dissonance with reality, unfairness, powerlessness, helplessness.
When he fell out of the sky and died, he became my first god. My family told me that he was always watching me. He was always there for me. He could still see me and speak to me through symbols. All I had to do was pay attention.
I continued to have a relationship with my father after he died. I have a relationship with my father to this day.
Experience Is Reality
My experience of losing my father is the root of my understanding that experience is reality. What's happening in your head is just as real as anything that happens in the world.
What you believe shapes your experience of reality, and how you experience reality impacts how you interact with reality.
I learned that through my attention, I could have experiences of reality that would provide me the love and the beauty I was seeking. I had true experiences of being cared for and tended wherever I went.
Over time, I came to see that there was no way to change what had happened, no punishment for the man who survived that crash which would take away my grief, no alternate reality where things went a different way. I found freedom in forgiveness and acceptance.
I continued my journey, studying psychology, serving adults with developmental disabilities, working with incarcerated youth, and most importantly, exploring my inner world to continue tuning my experience.
I found that the way I had addressed and shaped my experience and my narrative was a system that could be applied to heal and transform any area of my life.
I apply this system to help others. I know how to use it to help people feel safe, sometimes for the first time in their lives.
My life got better and better. My income grew, my relationships became easy and beautiful, my soul felt content. I finally had the only approval that had ever really mattered: my own.
At one point, I was asked the question: “What would you do if you never had to work a day in your life?”
My coaching business is the answer.